I turned my face away I didn’t want to but I couldn’t bear to leave too I saw the brightness of the light peaking through but the strings pulling me back had a force of their own I know its transient… yes, I know how impermanent this present situation is…and the passing nature of the attraction has also registered on me. Still I cannot let go, not now for sure. I turned my face, and the light which I thought is disappearing, brightened even more Now its shining upon me, in its full glory I know that’s the way for me and I feel its there whether I take it now or later I bask in this glory, as I have never done so before this body and mind’s hold will give way once and for all.
My thoughts become ineffective if I sit on it even for a day.
I gain a new perspective as I look through the haze.
Thoughts are like food, they lose their freshness every second.
If I fail to act on them immediately, another one beckons.
Nothing is new but it all feels different.
What changes and what remains constant is the thought that plagues my mind at this very moment.
I was born, I went to school, I grew up, and I became the seeker.
I am ignorant; I think I know, I was unhappy, I am now happy. I will die. I once lived. The questions keep going deeper.
The ‘I’ that went to school is a stranger to the ‘I’ here ruminating.
But something is still the same, witnessing and deliberating.
What is that constant? The one who witnessed the ignorant ‘I’
and now is witnessing the seeking ‘I’.
This witness eludes me, yet is everything to me.
The separation of body/thoughts with the ‘I’ is completely understood. If I am not the constantly changing body and mind than what am I? I have seen the changes. What I have seen and witnessed, cannot be me. The subject cannot be an object of observation. If I am the subject then how can I be objectified?
These thoughts keep plating themselves in front of me.
They conflict, they collaborate, and they create uproar in me.
The food on my plate is appetizing to say the least
But I leave it untouched denying myself the feast.
Dreams are often compared to reality. In life, we enter when the play is on. We take time to make sense of it. Some more than others whereas some cannot figure out what is happening till the curtains fall for them. The play goes on, irrespective of who comes and leaves the stage. For you, the spirit limited in body/mind complex, it’s defined in time, space and causation. Dreams are similar for most of us mortal beings.
I came to a sleepy village, in the midst of a mountain range
Walking the unknown lanes with a blue hue,
I could see the clouds above the huts painting a grey roof.
I was denied the knowledge of who I was,
the slumber of my state was probably the root cause.
Something told me there is no outside help available to me,
Turning back looked foolish, so I decided to go on deep inside.
I entered a hut which was hosting a few souls,
I sat beside them as if that was the place I started to reach all along.
I saw my Guru (Spiritual Teacher) saying something I couldn’t hear
His smiling countenance smoothed my feathers ruffled due to fear.
A young lady sitting with me said she was Gopi,
Her presence made me feel I have finally reached my resting place,
With no desire to go any further, this ought to be my base.
We sat at the hut’s chaukhat (threshold), as the rain poured outside painting a blue and grey abstract on the canvas.
Gopi said there was no need to be gloomy, going further inside is not like walking in some scary movie.
“It’s the only thing”, she said. I heard her, along with the pitter patter of rain. The serenity and beauty of it all calmed my being so strained.
I didn’t want to go any further neither did I want to go back.
But a sudden thought of my worried family put me on the downhill track.
Gopi accompanied me as I came down the Valley’s winding paths,
She took the form of a thin dark man, but the presence was sure to last.
As I reached a stream, I saw my husband coming towards me,
I slipped out of my dream, back to the world that still has a hold on me.
I refused to open my eyes, basking in the bliss,
Holding onto Gopi, praying the feminine aura shall never cease.
life from thought to thought 