I have lived in ignorance for far too long. I have argued over silly things, just to get the final word. I have wrestled in the darkness of ignorance to live in denial and hypocrisy. I have denied myself the light of knowledge. I guess it happens with almost most of us. I am a part of that ‘most’. With age we do get perspective. But our ego is too big to accept faults and come out of denial that we have been living. Seeking higher knowledge helps but that doesn’t mean the end of all the troubles. It is not like one day you get up and realize that you are ‘It’. You do realize that Shakespeare was telling you the highest truth when he said “this world is a play”. Yes, indeed this world is nothing but a play and we are here to fulfill our parts to our best potential. What is real is the consciousness. It is believable but hard to live. So I know the truth but don’t know how to get over my petty existence. I still wrestle in the darkness of my desires, greed, anger and ego. I crave and suffer. I attach to certain things and people and suffer. I bow down to my ego and suffer. I let my anger take over my senses and I suffer. I let this ‘I’ get its way…way too often. And all that I end up with is suffering. I know, yet I suffer. And I suffer because I know. Would it have been easier had I not known? If ignorance is bliss…has knowing brought suffering? There is no easy answer to these ramblings in my head. But I persist with my search. I can see a glimmer of that bliss sometimes…only to fade away, too soon. If it’s real, it’s the only truth worth seeking. If it’s not there, than what good is the world?!
life from thought to thought 